Okay...so this is something new for me; a Blog!! However, I am thinking that it may help me to keep from going crazy at times. I am a pretty private person, so it is kind of strange for me to put my thoughts out there for anyone to read. Let me start by giving some background on me...who am I. Well, I am Lynn, a 34 year old female who has a job she loves, a cat whose name was changed from Kitty to Roofus (thanks to my parents). I got divorced when I was 26 or 27, heck I can't remember anymore. This getting older thing is sucking too!! I was married for a little over 5 years. Chad was an awesome guy, we just wanted different things out of life. I was not content to living on the farm the rest of my life. My best friend is Sarah. She knows more about me than any person. We met after I moved to Charlotte at least 7 years ago when I worked in the glass industry. I now work in solar energy. You will typically hear "hello sunshine" coming out of my mouth. I tend to laugh loud and love to cut up and have fun. I love what I do and I love the fact that I am making a contribution to a better world. I work with some amazing people. I am also overweight. I have been pretty much my entire life. I grew up on fried foods and the old say "you are not getting up from the table until you finish what is on your plate" mentality. I remember being a size 16 in high school! Heck, right now I would love to be a 16! My parents are both overweight. They both are diabetic and both have high blood pressure. Mom has gone through breast cancer.
Well, I decided to go down to Mexico and have the Gastric Vertical Sleeve done. Now, let me say that a week before I went, I also quit smoking. I also quit drinking caffeine. Whew...so many changes going on. Okay back to the surgery...It is so much cheaper in Mexico. No one knew what I was doing except for Sarah. I decided I didn't even want my parents to know. I did tell my boss I was having the surgery, just not that it was in Mexico. The people were awesome there. I would recommend it to anyone! I flew out on a Tuesday, June 22nd and spent the night in San Diego. I met up with the people from the hospital on Wednesday morning and we drove across the border. There was 3 other people having the surgery as well. We did some blood work and I had the surgery that afternoon. It is strange; I wasn't really scared. I was just ready. My starting weight was 305 lbs!!! Oh my God! I almost fell over! 305 lbs! I was just 225 lbs it seemed. Size 26 was getting tight! I stayed in Mexico until Saturday and flew back home. I really felt pretty good considering. The first night after the surgery; well you don't feel your best I guess you could say. The more you move around the better you feel. I sort of relaxed for a couple of days. I worked from home some the next week and then was back at work. Now, I did decide to take my own stitches out, which wasn't the smartest thing. I ended up taking them out too early and 3 of the 5 incision came open. This is actually the first week I have been bandage free! I have 5 scars, but I could care less! I can say that I truely thought that losing weight would be easy after the surgery. You could only eat a small amount of food. I wanted to do this right, so after I could officially exercise, I found a trainer to work with. Yesterday marked the start of the 4th week with Jay. I am at 266 lbs; so I am down 39 lbs since the surgery. In 3 weeks with the trainer, I have lost 16 1/2 inches. Here is the funny part....I lost 9 inches in my boobs!!! What the hell! I am a firm believer that more than a mouth full is a waste. :-) Don't get me wrong, I will take a loss anytime, but I would have liked that off my hips instead. I don't want to end up all hips and ass....even big now I have a flat ass. I can't be a skinny woman with big hips and flat ass! I have gone down 2 sizes in shirts, a cup size in my bras, and 2 sizes in pants. The hardest part of working with a trainer has been getting the diet under control. I have always been taught to diet, you eat less. Well, here is Jay telling me I have to eat more. More protein, less carbs, less sugar, more meals a day. According to Jay, "Just Swallow it". Well I have been told that a few times, but it wasn't food we were talking about at the time. I have found myself so frustrated at times because the weight is not coming off faster. I have to keep reminding myself that I feel so much better. Oh and get this!!! I get up at 4:30am on the mornings I work out!! You are talking about someone who used to stay out until 2-3am every night playing cards, get up at 8am and start over again. Everyone knows I love watching the Panther football games. I couldn't even stay awake for the game Saturday. Here I am snuggled up on the end of the couch with the high school musical blanket (I told you Sarah, love that blanket)! Maybe if it was a more exciting game, I could have stayed awake. That is what I am telling myself anyway. I work out with Jay at least 3 times a week. By the way, I know I am jumping around quite a bit, but once I get everyone up to speed and blogging every day, maybe it will be a little more organized. Anyway, I work out with Jay at least 3 times a week, sometimes 4. On the days I don't work out with him, I have been exercising on my own usually twice a day. Now there are some days I don't even want to think about going to exercise, but I am scared that if I stop then I will just start a pattern. I am making too many changes right now to take a step backwards. I have to give Jay a lot of credit. He has to put up with me at my worst. It is funny, he thinks I am such a negative person because I am always cussing and giving him these drop dead looks when he tells me that we are working with dumb bells, or to do something with requires some coordination. He may actually be giving me a complex about that! I am like damn, let me smile next time I tell him he is fucking crazy. I was fussing yesterday about not seeing the weight come off fast enough and he made a comment to me. He told me I can quit. Quitting is not even an option for me, but that comment did make me think about things. By the way people, if you don't really know me, I tend to keep my feelings to myself. I consider myself a very strong person. You would never know me and think I am weak. I don't like feeling weak or vulnerable. That V word is pretty hard for me. You will know if I am happy and you will know if I am mad, but most people never know if I am hurt. Maybe in my eyes it is showing weakness; I don't know. And yes, I know, everyone gets hurt. It is just a part of life. I ended something with a special person in my life last week; Jason. Jason has always been there when I needed him. Whether it was meeting me at 1am to give me my key to my place after my purse was stolen to feeding my cat and fish when I am out of town, he has always been someone I could count on. However, I have this bad habit of choosing men who are not good for me. Whether they turn out to be married, which you can ask Sarah, I some how seem to attract married men! Maybe it is because I am pretty open minded, I don't know. I have point blank asked someone if he was married and later found out he lied to me. WTF. So I don't take kindly when people lie to me. Lie to me once, shame on you, lie to me twice, shame on me. Now, I do miss him. I miss Herb at times too, however, I won't ever forget him. I have a tattoo on my ass to remind me of him! Both are not good for me. So that is another change I am trying to deal with. Damn the sex was good! Okay, so I just took a long pause thinking about the sex. Did I mention that the sex was really good? LOL.
Okay so back to today. I was up at 4:30am, had a great workout. Although at times I think Jay takes it out on me that I make him get up so early. hmmm. I was at work by 8:30am and I am feeling really great today; which is totally opposite of yesterday. Yesterday I was just sort of bummed out I think. Maybe it is all the changes happening and I am not giving myself enough credit. Stopping smoking was huge for me; so was no caffeine. I used to drink 4-5-6 Pepsi's a day. I hated the taste of water. (that has changed a lot). I cut all my hair off (which is really strange. I miss my long hair, but I am glad to see what short hair feels like. I like to have enough hair so that a really good grip....ummm never mind) I am eating so much differently. I use to always say it is just easier to eat out for one person. Now I cook for two and take my lunch. I have even been eating onions and bell peppers! Strange how your taste buds change. Even things at work have changed a bit. We have a new COO. Which him and I didn't get the best start, but he has turned out to be my biggest motivation at work. He told me once that his wife has this saying. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I have never been skinny, so I can't relate. However, there will be a day when I can relate and I am sure I will be able to agree. Even now, I look at a glass of wine and think, wow, do you know how long on the ellipitcal it will take to burn you off. That usually kills the urge to cheat. Okay....so that is it for right now. That is a lot of information about me in a pretty short insert. I will be back later.....
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