Tuesday 10/5/10

OKay, so I have been pretty frustrated lately. I actually got on the scale this morning and was up over 2 lbs! I got really really frustrated. Here I am busting my ass everyday and I can't lose a pound! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I know what everyone is going to tell me, everybody hits a plateau. I know this. It just doesn't make it any better. I know that I can only keep going, which I am and will do. It just doesn't make it any better at the moment. I have figured out that I am becoming addicted to the pain of working out. I like to feel my muscles sore. I like knowing I have pushed myself. But GEEZZZ, come on weight, work with me a little here!

Tuesday...

So I went to the gym and worked out again today on my own. I am so glad Jerod is back and we work out tomorrow! I hate doing all cardio all the time. I get really bored with it and he understands that. I think I am very fortunate to find someone that truely cares and I am just not a time slot at the gym.
I did hit 245 today. I don't think I am going to hit 240 by Friday. It will take some kind of miracle. But that is okay. I am doing this. Who wouldn't want more? I have to remind myself when I get frustrated that this is not a sprint, it is a marathon. I am in it for the long haul.

Monday 9/27/10

Okay, so I was very slack last week posting on here. So my goal is to be 240 by Friday. I have had a hell of a time trying to acheive that. I have been busting my ass and doing cardio every day, but the scale just keeps staying the same or going up. This is probably the most frustrated I have been lately. Jerod, my trainer, returns from NY tonight. Thank goodness. I have worked out on my own Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and I will go this afternoon. I get so bored doing just cardio! We do measurements again on Friday. I will write a little more later. This Monday is so hard for me! I am dragging ass!!

Friday 9-10-10

Okay so the last day has really sucked! My car broke down, I had to get a friend to pick me up at 2am Wednesday night. Then I had to get someone to take me to meet the tow truck to get my car towed. The computer, intake gasket, and battery had to be replaced in my car. What a really sucky time. I first got a call saying it was $1200. Then when I told them I was going to check around for quotes, they called back saying that the computer would be covered uder warranty. Now the total was $390.00. What crock! It was like they wanted to see if I would go ahead and pay for it first. It still ended up setting me back $500. I figured since I just hit 90,000 miles I better go ahead and have my tires rotated, balanced, oil change and all that good stuff. Then I get in my car this morning and no headlights! I only have brights! Great! I get to the gym and I have gained a pound!!! Really!!! Wonderful! I am not someone who cries. It is just not me. However, I felt like I could just sit down and cry this morning. I think there was just so many things hitting me at one time that I was feeling so overwhelmed. Then Jerod told me I wasn't trying this morning working out; which I guess I wasn't. I am just having one of those mornings. I remember something that I read on a shirt....if it was easy, everyone would do it. How freaking true is that?!?! SO I told myself to suck it up and deal with it. It will get better. Okay...I better get to work since I missed being in the office yesterday. I have lots to do.

Wednesday 9/8/10

Last night sucked!!! I decided to work out yesterday afternoon. All cardio. Wonderful. That is just what I love. A complete hour on the treadmill and ellipitical. Woo-hoo. I guess you can tell how excited I was about it. However, I did burn like 590 or 595 calories in 30 minutes on the ellipitcal. It really really sucked though! Last night, I so wanted to call and say I was not working out this morning. I just couldn't bring myself to do it though. I felt like I was mad at my trainer for making me do all cardio. But that just doesn't make sense. I would never have went that long if it wasn't for him. I think this whole experience, losing weight and working out, is making me take a deeper look at myself. It is kind of like that old saying, if you do the same thing day in and day out, you are going to get the same results. I find myself changing physically, but also mentally. Sometimes, it is a lot to take in. I know that sounds crazy, but it is. Sometimes, I think to myself to just suck it up and deal with it. (I complain a lot while working out). I have all the respect in the world for my trainer for putting up with me. I would have completed the treadmill and been finished and on my way. I get surprised all the time by exactly what I am capable of. It doesn't mean I like it. I may come across as pouting and whining, but I will normally do my best to do what I have to do. I will be 255 by the end of the week!

Tuesday 9/7/10

Whew....I had a great weekend! I went to the beach with Sarah and Abigail. I am not too keen on seeing sharks in the ocean, but I did get the sun therapy I needed! I excersised everyday at the beach plus ate so good! However, and that is a BIG however, I only lost 1/2 pound!!!!! ERRRRRR....It is okay though....I bought a pair of jeans 4 sizes smaller than before the surgery. I think I bought the jeans just because of the size honestly. Plus, I can now wear things at Old Navy again!! Woo-hoo!! I really want to be 255 by the end of the week.

Friday 9/3/10

Woo-hoo!! We did measurement today. I lost 12 1/2 inches. That is a total of 29 inches in the past month. I am really proud of myself. One thing I can is this, the surgery motivated me, but I truly am working hard as hell to lose every inch and pound! I also met my goal of getting into the 250's today!! 259.7. At 255, that will be 50 lbs!! I am hoping to hit that by the time I get back on Tuesday. I am pretty excited. To be able to really start seeing the difference the workouts are making is awesome. There is a skinny person in me ready to come out and kick butt! :-)
I am heading to lunch with a good friend who is moving to Houston soon! I am going to miss my poker buddy! :-( We will party it up next Friday before you leave! After lunch, then Sarah, Abigail, and me are headed to Myrtle Beach! I need some sun therapy!